


(Knock Knock.) Who's There?

by QQI25



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Light Angst, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Trans Male Character, mentions of dysphoria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 19:15:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13864242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QQI25/pseuds/QQI25
Summary: Spidey's given Wade his civilian name, Ben, but he's slow to respond to it. Wade's pretty sure he's lying about it, but he's not going to ever confront Spidey about it.





	(Knock Knock.) Who's There?

**Author's Note:**

> the title's really cheesy but it's like the first thing i thought of. well, besides "fuck titles".
> 
> oh yeah, nd the beginning of the bit after the last ellipses is a text convo, in case u cldnt tell

Wade wasn’t stupid. He knew what it looked like when people wanted to avoid him. And yeah, fine, he got it. He was annoying as fuck, running his mouth a mile a minute. Scratch that. A mile a second. But still, he couldn’t feel more than a little hurt when Spidey was slow to respond to his civilian name, Ben. His “civilian” name. Wade was pretty sure Spidey had given him a fake name, and _that_ hurt more than anything. They’d been on patrol, just the two of them, so often, and he _always_ had Spidey’s back, but Spidey still couldn’t trust him? So he avoided Spidey’s name. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Or well, out of mouth, out of mind? He just called him “Spidey” or “Baby Boy” and Spidey called him “Pool” or “Wade”, or “Deadpool” when he was super pissed. Which was rarely ever. Wade had tried every variation on “Benjamin” he could think of. He tried Ben, and Benny, and B, and J, and James, and Jamie, and pretty much every possibility, and Spidey had laughed each time and called Wade ridiculous, but it still took him a few seconds to respond to that. Spidey was never good at hiding things. 

Well, fine. Okay. Wade was being stupid about this. Really stupid. What right did _he_ have to Spidey’s real name? He was fucking nobody in Spidey’s life. He was just someone that Spidey sometimes went on patrol with. Okay, someone that Spidey went on patrol with pretty much every night. But that was like, the equivalent of work friends. (Work husbands? Fuck nevermind because Spidey evidently didn’t like him enough to be considered a work husband.) He was being stupid because who else pined on a fucking rooftop while waiting for their friend besides him? Friend? Were they even friends? Yes? Yes. Because Spidey laughed a lot around Wade and was just _around_ Wade in general. Most people didn’t do that. That made Wade decide that even if Spidey wouldn’t give Wade his real name, he stuck around. _Hung_ around, heh. 

“Hey Wade!” Speak of the devil. 

“Spidey! My second favourite superhero!” It was common knowledge at this point, Wade was pretty sure, that Cap was his absolute favourite. Spidey didn’t mind. Plus, technically he was like a vigilante? Was that a separate category than superhero? Wade was sure of this point too, which meant Spidey could be his favourite vigilante. 

“Can I talk to you about something?” Uh oh. Prepare for a year of depression. Added on to the already-present depression. It was time for The Talk about how Wade was a bad influence and not a good person and they couldn’t hang out (haha hang out) anymore and yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah it all added up to Wade ending up alone.

“Yeah, sure, what’s up?”

“Okay, this is like a _serious_ topic. Like _really_ serious. And I hope we can still be friends afterward.” Soooo . . . not a friendship breakup speech? If it wasn’t, then he could probably handle it. 

“Okay. Um. Okay. I . . . okay this is kinda hard? I’m like terrified?”

“Hey, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t wanna. You’re not, like, obligated to tell me anything you don’t want to.”

“No, I. This is. Important. And you’re important in my life too, so. I, uh, I’m trans?”

“Oh. Okay. Pronouns?” Stupid idiot Wade. Here he was, worrying about himself when poor Spidey was probably terrified to tell someone! But his response had Spidey very obviously relaxing, so that was good. 

“He him. You’ve been using the right ones.”

“Oh. Okay. Cool!”

“That’s it? You’re not gonna like, hate me or something?” 

“No. Of course not! What the fuck, baby boy? If I ever hated you, it’d probably be, like, an impersonator or some shit. I couldn’t _ever_ hate you.” 

“Thanks Wade,” Spidey replied sincerely, surprising Wade with a hug. “Also, like I know you know I have a slow reaction to you calling me Ben, and don’t call me it that much. That’s because it was my uncle’s name and I’m borrowing it ‘til I find my own. But I really appreciate you calling me that and using the right pronouns and trying to find a nickname that fits. But I think we both know it’s not _my_ name. So. You don’t really have to call me that. Not that you called me it that much.” He let go and Wade smiled at him.

“Thank you for trusting me with this information. Why don’t we try to find a name for you? Hmm . . . something that starts with a P so it matches your last name like my initials do?” 

“Sure!” Peter brightened at that suggestion.

“Why don’t we go get some food for now?” 

“Yum!” Spidey patted his tummy and swung them both down. 

. . . 

“Percival.” Headshake. “Percy.” Another headshake. Ah, well.

. . . 

“Pablo.” Headshake. “Pedro.” Another headshake. Figured.

. . . 

“Pierre.” Headshake. “Pietro.” Another headshake. 

. . . 

“Phineas.” Headshake. “Perry.” An incredulous look.

“Did you try to name me after a triangle-boy and his platypus?”

“Hey,” Wade protested. “Don’t make fun of Phineas. He makes me think of you. All smart and inventurous.” 

“That’s not a word, Wade.” 

“Well, I say that now it is.” 

“Okay, Wade. Whatever you say.”

“Thank you. I know I’m important.”

“You are.” Another incredulous look, this time from Wade. “You _are_. Don’t give me that look.” 

. . . 

When Wade showed up this time, Peter was lying facedown. Aww, little Spidey was sad.  
“Patrick?”

“I’m not a starfish.” His voice was muffled.

“Pepe?” Spidey huffed out a laugh.

“Or a frog.” 

“What’s up? If you feel like talking about it.” He took a seat by Spidey and Spidey pushed himself into a sitting position next to Wade, pulling his knees up and resting his chin on them. 

“I don’t know. Just, body stuff, I guess. And sad stuff. Non-specific sad stuff.” Wade hummed sympathetically. He ruffled Spidey’s hair and Spidey leaned into Wade’s side. 

“Do you want me to beat up the sad?” 

“If you wanna beat up my head, go for it.” 

“Nah, your head’s too good-lookin’ for that.” Technically, he knew that words didn’t have genders and names didn’t either, but he’d been staying away from “”gendered”” terms just in case it upset Spidey. Spidey was like him in that he made issues seem smaller than they were and beat himself up for “over-reacting”. Wow, call out post. 

. . . 

“Paul.” A nose wrinkle.

“How old do you think I am? 50?” Two sets of laughter.

. . . 

“Phillip.” A headshake. “Prince . . . ton.” Two raised eyebrows.

“Oh, so I’m a college, now?” 

“I mean, you’re like, as smart as everyone there combined?”

“Okay, Wade. Whatever you say.”

“You say that a lot,” Wade remarked. “I must be pretty cool too, then. Smart enough to have whatever I say goes?”

“O _kay_ , Wade. Whatever you say.” 

“Sounds like a yes to me!”

. . .

“Puck.” 

“Shakespeare? Is that you?” 

“What? He’s hot. Everyone that’s played him is. And mischievous. He’s like, perfect. Peter.” Spidey was frozen where he stood. “Peter?” Spidey nodded excitedly and launched himself at Wade. Wade stumbled back a few steps, but wrapped his arms securely around him. Peter.

“That’s me! That’s me! I’m Peter!” 

“Hi Peter. I’m Wade.” 

“Hi! I’m Peter!” He turned his head to the side and took a deep breath before shouting it even louder. “I’M PETER!” They both whooped and laughed. Peter ended up crying out of happiness. They went out for another celebratory meal after that. 

. . . 

**pete  
** **petey  
** **peter**

_that’s me_

**i need ur help  
it’s urgent**

_what’s up? i’m studying rn_

**i’m bored**

_ur also a majour dickhead  
but u can come over_

**yEET**

_as long as u don’t try to distract me from my work  
i can’t fail_

**yeah yeah**

Wade locked his phone and stowed it, knocking on the window in front of him. 

“Pete. Petey. Peterrrrrrrrrr. I know you can hear me. Who’s the dickhead now?” Peter opened the window and Wade clambered in. 

“You. Dickhead.” Wade snickered.

“You still let me in.” 

“And I can still kick you out.” 

“No, please. I’ll be good. I’ll be so quiet you won’t even know I’m here.” 

“Okay, Wade. Whatever you say.” Peter didn’t mind if Wade played with his LEGO figurines, so he did that, enacting intense fight scenes. Eventually, he was joined by Peter because apparently he wasn’t quiet enough. Yeah, okay. Or he was just cooler than Peter and did more interesting stuff than him. (That was a lie, or joke, or whatever you wanted to call it, in case you couldn’t tell. He was pretty sure no one could be cooler than Peter.)


End file.
